My Mind
by Squall Leonhart4
Summary: This is my first shot at a Xenogears fanfiction. This is a story about what was running through Bart's mind before and after he met Fei and the others. Please R&R ^_^
1. Default Chapter

My Mind

  
Note – Okay, this is my first attempt at writing a Xenogears Fanfic! I haven't played the game in five years, and I just started playing it again. I know must of the stuff that goes on, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's some discrepancies here and there. You'll just have to bear with that!  
On another note, this fanfic is all about Bart, quite possibly the greatest character in the game (Lol...He is pretty cool though, he gets an eyepatch like a pirate! Argh!). Anyways, it deals with the events that led up to him meeting Fei, and everything that happened after that. He doesn't have his eyepatch yet, but that's coming up soon! But just warning you, this isn't yaoi!!! I know sometimes Bart, Fei and others get kinda deep in their discussions, but that's just not the case in this story!!   
Well, now that I've had my daily ranting, on with the story!!!   
*Please read and review ^^*

__

~

BART!!

Margie...She was crying out for him. But he didn't know where she was, or where he was for that matter. Everything was pitch black around him. Margie's voice echoed throughout the void.  
  
_Bart! You said you'd protect me! But I'm trapped now...Why won't you come save me? Why, Bart? Is it because you hate me? Is that it?  
  
_"Margie, no!" The young man cried out. "You know that's not true! I'm coming for you! We all are!"  
  
_This is the heir to the throne of Aveh?  
  
_Bart whirled around, expecting to see someone else. But he was alone in that void. He knew who that voice belong to, however.  
  
"Sigurd...?"  
  
_Why do we even bother? You're definitely not king material. You're a disgrace to the Aveh dynasty. You can't even save Margie!_

"Sig? What are you talking about? What is all this?!"   
  
_You're worthless Bart_ Margie's voice rang out.  
  
_Just give up. You're not worthy of our support _Sig's voice chimed in.  
  
Bart couldn't believe his ears. He put his hands to his head, and collapsed to the floor.  
  
"No...it's not true. I'm trying my hardest. I really am. Don't you understand...?" Tears were running from his face.  
  
_You're a failure!!  
  
FAILURE!!! BART!!!!_

BART!!!!

"BARTHOLOMEW FATIMA!!!!"

~  
  
Bart awoke with a start. He was drenched in a cold sweat. He took a deep breath, and sighed, realizing it was just a dream.

"Master Bartholomew, are you alright?" Maison was standing at his bedside.  
  
Bart looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm alright Old Man..."  
  
"You were screaming in your sleep again, young master." Maison replied. "I thought something dreadful had happened to you!"  
  
Bart smiled at the old, kindly man. "Nah, it was just some bad dreams. That's all."  
  
"It wouldn't have to do with the recent capture of your cousin, Marguerite, would it?"  
  
Bart's smile faded. He looked down at his bed, unable to say anything. Instead, he slowly nodded. Maison sat down on the bed beside him.  
  
"Young master, things like this can't be helped. Margie did what she thought was best for her people. Don't blame yourself for it. We will have Margie back."  
  
Bart looked up at Maison. "I know that Old Man, but I wish she would have told me she was leaving. We all could have helped her out. She knows she can't do this on her own."  
  
"Well, maybe your chance to help her out is now." Maison replied. "As soon as we get a detailed strategy and plan worked out, we will start working on how to get Marguerite back as soon as possible. It does not do well to dwell on the things we cannot do anything about, after all."  
  
Bart smiled up at the old man. "Thanks Maison." He replied. "It's nice to know that I can count on you as a friend."  
  
Maison shook his head. "Young master, it is not my duty to be your friend. I am merely your adviser and guardian. As much as I would like to, I cannot take that responsibility. I'm sorry..."  
  
Bart nodded his head. "I know. I think Sig's told me that about 1000 times! But still, you're probably the closest thing I've had to a friend." He suddenly stretched out his arms, and yawned loudly.  
  
Maison laughed at the young master. "It sounds like someone needs to get their rest!"  
  
Bart managed a laugh as well. "Yeah, I guess you're right Old Man."  
  
Maison stood up, and began to walk out of the room as Bart went to lay back down. Before he left the room, Bart sat up.  
  
"Hey Old Man?"  
  
"Yes, young master?"  
  
"Uhm...could you not tell Sigurd and the others about this?"  
  
Maison smiled. "Of course, sir. It'll be our secret."  
  
With that, he walked out of the door. Bart sighed, and he turned on a lamp on his bedside. It partially lit up part of the cabin that he was staying in. Sigurd, Bart and the others had been scavenging around the desert in the Yggsdrasil long into the night, and they decided to spend the night in the Yggsdrasil. Bart looked to his nightstand where he had just turned the lamp on, and grabbed a picture frame.

It was taken 12 years ago, when Bart was only a young boy. He was pictured with his cousin, Margie. Both of them were smiling brightly, and everything about them seemed so peaceful...  
  
Bart put the picture frame back on the bedside. It pained him to look at it. He wanted to help Margie so bad, but there was nothing he could do about it. He just couldn't run into the Royal Castle and snatch Margie away. There were guards everywhere. And it would have put Margie in danger as well. He sighed, feeling for one of the first times in his life, utterly helpless.

He wanted someone to confide in. Someone he could trust, besides Maison and Sigurd. They were so much older than he was, and he knew he could never have a friendly relationship with either one. They were his mentors, after all. It sometimes seemed like such a lonely life. But Bart would never let it show. Before he went to sleep, he had one last person he wanted to speak with.

"Dad? Can you hear me? It's me, Bart. Dad, I know I'm doing what's best for everyone. But I feel so helpless now. I can't save Margie, and I can barely carry on with what I'm doing right now. Filling your shoes seems like too big a responsibility for me. I don't know if I can do it... Give me a sign, Dad. Send me someone, anyone. It's lonely down here, Dad. I miss you and Mom so much. And I have no one... So please...

__

Help me...


	2. Until Death

Until Death  
  
Note - Here I am again! WHOOO!!! ^-^0 Sorry 'bout that! Oh, btw, thanx to all that reviewed this, and thanks to my good friends who all like this story and my other ones! I know this is pretty quick to update, but believe, this is a rare event! I'm currently writing like...5 million things (a realist story for world lit, another fanfic, and many many other things...) so if I don't update for a while, DON'T WORRY! I won't give up on this story...yet :P. Anyways, so here's Chapter 2. It gets kinda graphic in one part, so be forewarned! ^^ Enjoy!  
  
~  
  
"So, how did the scavenges go yesterday?" Bart asked.  
  
It was bright and early the next morning. Bart was on the deck of the Yggsdrasil with Sigurd, and was watching the crew searching for usable parts among the wreckage of hundreds of Kislev and Aveh gears.  
  
"We found a good deal of parts, and thankfully, most of them were usable. We're finding more and more parts now that we've gone from excavating to scavenging."  
  
"Good, good..." Bart responded, as he continued to watch the gears move about in the desert sand.  
  
"Is something the matter young one? You seem awfully reserved this morning."  
  
Bart turned his glance to Sigurd. He hoped that Maison had kept his promise. "Ah, it's nothing. I just had trouble sleeping last night. I can't stand sleeping in the Yggsdrasil!"  
  
Sigurd nodded, but Bart could tell that he didn't buy it. However, Sigurd had wised up to the fact that Bart wouldn't tell him anything private anytime soon.  
  
"So, what are the plans today, young master?"  
  
"Well, after the scavenges are complete, we'll head back to base to drop everything off. When we're there, I'd like to see how we'd fare in a sneak attack against Aveh."  
  
"You're worried about Margie?"  
  
"Of course I am!" Bart yelled, raising his voice, causing some of the other crew members nearby to turn their glances towards the two. "She had to go run off on her own, not even thinking about the consequences. Who knows what Shakhan will do to her? Did she even think about that before she went? Does she know what this will do to the people of Nisan?!"  
  
Sigurd was quiet as Bart went through his tirade. After Bart was finished, Sigurd spoke.  
  
"You know, you could learn a lot from what you just said, young master. About acting impulsively that is."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
All eyes were on the two now.  
  
"You know full well what I'm talking about. The last time you tried to attack Aveh, you ended up getting captured by Aveh guards, and beaten severely! It was a miracle you were found alive!"  
  
"Hey, I had that attack planned out very well, thank you! It's not my fault Shakhan decided to put out more guards then we had originally thought!"  
  
"Still, the fact remains young master. You mustn't run blindly into these situations. One of these days, you'll get yourself hurt, or someone else hurt!"  
  
"Whatever..." Bart sighed, turning his attention back to the gears below. All the crew members jumped, afraid that Bart might figure out they were all paying attention to him, and quickly went back to work.  
  
"I'm going back inside for a moment." Bart finally spoke. He headed towards the opening on the deck, and descended into the Yggsdrasil. Sigurd looked up at the sky.  
  
Maybe I am too hard on the young master he thought to himself. He is still young. Maybe I should go apologize... He, however, stayed on the deck of the Yggsdrasil, deep in thought...  
  
~  
  
Bart was walking down the hallway of the Yggsdrasil by himself.  
  
Sig...What the hell does he know? He doesn't know what I've been through...The things I've had to do...Doesn't he realize how hard it is? It isn't easy to be me... He sighed, stopping at what was Margie's room. He walked in, looking around the room.  
  
"Heh, everything just the way she left it." He said out loud. "Stupid dolls and all..." As he walked around the room, he finally sat down on the bed. As he did, memories of the past filled his mind.  
  
~  
  
"Bart, are you sure this is safe?" Margie asked.  
  
"Of course it is! I planned this out perfectly!" Bart exclaimed. They were standing outside the walls of Fatima Castle. Bart and Margie had just beaten up two guards, and stolen their uniforms. They were ready to go into the castle, and after Shakhan.  
  
"If you say so..." Margie replied. "I just hope you're right."  
  
"Hey, have I ever been wrong before?"  
  
Margie remained silent, as they both entered Fatima Castle...  
  
~  
  
It was supposed to have gone smoothly. Bart thought to himself. We were going to infiltrate the Castle, and pose as Shakhan's guards. Things were going well...But then...  
  
~  
  
"Who's there?!" Shakhan's voice rang out from beyond the door that Margie and Bart were standing at.  
  
Bart cleared his throat, and spoken in a deeper, more gruff voice.  
  
"Uhm, we have some important...uh news to report to you from...er...Gebler! Yeah, news from Gebler!"  
  
There was silence from Shakhan. Margie just glared at Bart. "You probably blew it, you idiot!" She whispered quietly. Bart was about to argue, when the door flung open.  
  
"Ah, so what news do you have for me?" Shakhan asked. "Please, come in!"  
  
Bart winked at Margie, and the two walked in together, shutting the door behind them.  
  
"Sorry Shakhan, but you're being replaced!" Bart exclaimed.  
  
Shakhan glared at them both. "YOU! I should have known... I didn't realize how hard rats are to get rid of... Though your father and mother certainly were very easy... They died after only...three weeks of torture?"  
  
Bart gritted his teeth. "You'll pay for that!!"  
  
Shakhan just grinned. "Oh, I don't think so...rat." Shakhan pressed a switch on his bedside. Bart heard a rumbling, and suddenly, he felt himself falling. The floor had fallen from beneath Bart and Margie. "Enjoy your time in the sewers with all the other rats!" Was the last thing Shakhan screamed as Margie and Bart fell through the dark void...  
  
~  
  
We were in there for four days. The images reeled through Bart's head. Everyday, the guards would come into our cell. They would come after me first...They'd beat me around for a while. Maybe whip me a few times... Then they'd go after Margie... I couldn't let them do that...  
  
~  
  
"Bart! What are you doing?!" Margie screamed as Bart flew his beaten and bloody body on top of Margie.  
  
"Looks like we got ourselves a glutton for punishment here!" One of the guards laughed, and he cracked his whip at Bart. Bart gritted his teeth in pain, as Margie screamed.  
  
"Stop it! Just stop it!"  
  
The beating continued. Bart's screams echoed with Margie's pleas for their captors to stop. Eventually, things were silent. Bart was leaning against one of the cell walls. Blood was flowing from his cut lip. Both eyes were blackened, and his arms were bruised and battered. It hurt for him to breathe, to move, to do anything. His entire back was on fire from all the times he had been whipped.  
  
"Bart..." Margie was softly crying. "Why? Why'd you do that?"  
  
Bart sat up a bit, flinching, and trying not to show his pain. "I...didn't want to see you get hurt.. I got you into this, and I didn't want you to suffer..."  
  
"Oh Bart..."  
  
~  
  
It was the next day when we were finally rescued. Sig, Maison and the others led an attack on Aveh, and managed to rescue both Margie and I. I was in the hospital for months...  
  
Bart stood up. No sense thinking about it now. What's done was done...  
  
He sighed, taking one last look around the room. "I'll find you Marg..."  
  
As he was about to exit the room, the entire room turned a dark hue of red, and the ship's siren went off.  
  
"Warning! Warning!" A voice rang over the com speaker. "The engine has begun overheating, and the mechanics have all been seriously injured trying to repair it! All crew and personnel please evacuate now! I repeat, all crew and personnel, evacuate now!"  
  
Bart looked down the hallway towards the engine room. "Those idiots... I guess I'll have to go fix it..."  
  
~  
  
"Where is the young master?" Sigurd asked, looking around all the crew that had assembled outside.  
  
"I have not seen him, Master Sigurd." Maison replied. "I thought he was with you!"  
  
"Crap..." Sigurd thought aloud. "He's probably trying to fix the engine. Damn impulsive kid." Sigurd ran back into the Yggsdrasil.  
  
"Master Sigurd!" Maison cried. "Do be careful! Don't let yourself or the young master get harmed!"  
  
~  
  
"Let's see, if I just adjust this a little bit then it should..."  
  
"YOUNG MASTER!!!"  
  
Bart whirled around, surprised to see Sigurd behind him.  
  
"Sigurd, you're just in time! I think I finally got this figured out!"  
  
"Young master, no!" Sigurd ran towards him. "Don't do that!"  
  
"What, I know what I'm doing!" Bart responded, as he pulled the switch.  
  
"NO!" Sigurd shoved him out of the way, but he was too late. A release of hot gas and metal shrapnel erupted from the main engine tank. Sigurd felt a searing pain in his right eye, and Bart felt the same pain in his left. Both were knocked unconscious, as the entire engine room fell silent...  
  
~  
  
They'll both make it...  
  
Good, good...  
  
Of course, they both lost an eye do to the accident, so they'll have to wear eyepatches the rest of their lives...  
  
But they're alright...?  
  
They're fine...  
  
And the Yggsdrasil...?  
  
From what I've heard, the young one really did fix the problem...but at a terrible price...  
  
...  
  
I'm sorry to trouble you, old man...  
  
If only...the young master...  
  
...Yes?  
  
...Never mind...Do tell me if they awaken anytime soon...  
  
Of course, Maison...You'll be the first to know...  
  
Young master...Sigurd...what shall we do now...? 


End file.
